Monthly Archive for September, 2006

Idea for Online Banking

I have sent the following to my Bank in the hope this feature could be added. Wonder if they will read, and if they do, can or will they implement?

Would it be possible to add a feature where we could mark money via Online Banking for Direct Debits, Standing Orders, Cheques or Card Payments so that when I use cashpoint or online banking it doesn’t allow me to remove that money from account?

Example
Actual Balance = £250.00
Mark £40.00 for cheque I have sent
Cashpoint shows my Balance as £210.00

Hopefully it will mean I won’t accidently (or purposely) remove that money and cheque will not bounce.

(Maybe even option at Cashpoints???)

Blonde Joke

A plane is on a direct flight to Houston, when a blonde in Economy class gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Houston and I’m staying right here.”

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy, she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Houston and I’m staying right here.”

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says! , “you say she is a blonde? I’ll handle this I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.”

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, “oh, i’m sorry.” she gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asks him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

I told her, “first class isn’t going to Houston.”

Sweet Joke

A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After a few beers the Smartie says, “Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?”

The Jelly Baby says, “No mate, I’m a soft centre, I always end up getting my head kicked in.”

So Smartie says, “Don’t worry about it, I’m a bit of a hard case, I’ll look after you.”

Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says, “Fair enough, as long as you’ll look after me”, and off they go.

After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table.

The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking cola bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walk out.

Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says, “I thought you were going to look after me.”

I was!” says Smartie, “But those Lockets are f***ing menthol”.




Bad Behavior has blocked 206 access attempts in the last 7 days.